Coffee = Awesome.

Coffee is awesome. It just is. It makes you stronger, faster, and more attractive to both the opposite and the same sex. These three statements may not be entirely true, but the fact that you (well, I) almost believe they could be just proves how awesome coffee really is.

Coffee also has the magical property of making boring things interesting. With a mug in hand, staff meetings are transformed into wonderlands. Pie Graphs! Expenditure Projections! So many fascinating things, so little time! The formerly weird and annoying guy who laughs explosively after every managerial joke becomes totally relatable, and the fact that three middle aged executives cannot operate Powerpoint goes from stove-your-eyes-in drudgery to Marxian high comedy.

For this and so many other reasons coffee is indisputably the best drink in existence. In the end, if you don't like coffee, you're just not a real person.