Jealousy

It's a stereotype for sure, but most guys when questioned would agree that sometimes their ladies get a little...jealous. But, let me ask you, has your special lady ever gotten jealous over: a beverage?

When I informed my ladylove of my nascent intention to finally join the ranks of the blogerati, she was, as ever, encouraging and supportive. "That's a great idea honey, you can practise writing, I think it would be really good for you" she said. Extremely nice, nothing to complain about there. But upon my saying "I think I'll write my first blog thing about coffee" the proverbial really hit the other proverbial.

 "OH REALLY! So, you can write your bloody blog crap about COFFEE, but can't even write ANYTHING about me first?! You obviously love COFFEE more than you love ME!!"

After this, try as I might simply I could not convince my beloved that she was always first in my heart of hearts, and that my writing a post on a subject other than her own many virtues was in no way a repudiation.

I live in hope that the cracks in our relationship caused by my transgression might some day heal...

Coffee = Awesome.

Coffee is awesome. It just is. It makes you stronger, faster, and more attractive to both the opposite and the same sex. These three statements may not be entirely true, but the fact that you (well, I) almost believe they could be just proves how awesome coffee really is.

Coffee also has the magical property of making boring things interesting. With a mug in hand, staff meetings are transformed into wonderlands. Pie Graphs! Expenditure Projections! So many fascinating things, so little time! The formerly weird and annoying guy who laughs explosively after every managerial joke becomes totally relatable, and the fact that three middle aged executives cannot operate Powerpoint goes from stove-your-eyes-in drudgery to Marxian high comedy.

For this and so many other reasons coffee is indisputably the best drink in existence. In the end, if you don't like coffee, you're just not a real person.